February 16, 2015

Advice column – fiction edition

Filed under: bloggery — Rhiannon Lassiter @ 10:07 pm

I’m engaged to my father’s best friend. He understands me better than anyone else. Should I be worried about people judging me?

My sister married my SIL’s molester. Who should I invite for xmas dinner? My mother says I have to invite my BIL. My DH says he won’t attend if I do.

My cousin who I fancy keeps letting his GF ride my horse. What should I do?

Should I marry my disabled ex boss or my cousin?

Our nanny is a dog. Is this normal?

My employer’s children refuse to go out. One is disabled, the other grew up overseas. They both refuse to skip and play outside like normal children and scream and shriek all day and all night. How can I get them active?

Our exchange student isn’t well. She looks pale and sad. She hardly eats anything at meals but we found fifty bread rolls hidden in the back of her wardrobe. I think she might have an eating disorder. My daughter loves having her here but should we send her back home instead?

My disabled teenage daughter insists on running my household. Her mother died when she was 10 and since then my single SIL had been seeing to meals and household jobs until she died. My daughter was injured a few years ago and caused us a lot of worry over her injury and then her bad attitude. Now she claims to have had a religious conversion and wants to be in charge of the house. I have five other children. Should I let my daughter get on with it, even though she’s bedbound and in pain most of the time?

I’m obsessed with thirteen year old girls. Some years ago my friend killed himself as a result of a business deal we were both involved in, leaving his daughter destitute – and it was my fault! Now I’m rich and I want to make it up to my dead friend and everywhere I go I see girls the same age as his daughter. I want to buy them food and clothes and bedlinen but I’m worried it might make me seem weird. Would it be less weird if I asked my Indian butler to give them presents on my behalf? He’s very congenial and has his own monkey.

My sons both married American women and I refused to meet my daughter in law because I expected my grandchildren to be vulgar and badly brought up. To my surprise my grandson C is a bright, handsome little chap even though I’ve never met his mother. I have met the mother of my grandson B and she was a horrible common woman. I want to leave all my money to grandson C but now lawyers have got involved. Am I being unfair?

I’m a typical teenage girl. I like makeup and flirting with boys. My brothers and sisters think I’m shallow and whenever we get together they whisper together behind my back. They all still play the same make-believe game we were into as kids but they leave me out every time. Am I wrong to want to grow up and live in the real world?

My sister’s maths tutor might be dodgy. They have their lessons in a local park and she comes back with stories of rabbits in waistcoats and mushrooms that make you feel bigger or smaller. Is this normal for keystage 5 or should I be worried?

I’m at boarding school and I’m worried my friend’s guardians are abusing him. I think my teachers and the headmaster already know but they don’t seem to care. How can I support my friend? PS: My family doesn’t have a lot of money so I can’t afford to buy him presents.

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